Why I Don’t Want to be Rory Gilmore

After discovering Gilmore girls at the age of 11, I latched onto the idea of Rory Gilmore because she was young, intelligent, and motivated. I would watch her big studying, college-prep episodes for motivation. Lorelai was silly and fun, and I felt like I was somehow hanging out with a mother-figure when I would watch her on the show.

For years, I aspired to be Rory Gilmore: I applied to all the best schools, was valedictorian of my high school class, and read the books that she read. As I moved through the world of academics and interpersonal relationships, I soon recognized the numerous faults of Rory Gilmore.

She is self-centered and frequently makes illogical decisions (Lorelai doesn’t always make the best decisions, but hers are more understandable). From getting back together with Dean to letting Logan go only to pine after him years later, Rory is not someone to model relationships after.

And don’t get me started on the season six fight between Lorelai and Rory. She stole a boat and quit Yale. Regardless of whether that is a Rory thing to do, it’s not a thing someone raised by Lorelai should do. Rewatching the series over and over, I began resenting Rory earlier and earlier. At first it was when she took leave from Yale, then it was when she got with Logan, then when she got with Dean part II, then it was when she entered college in the first place. There is something about Rory that changes once she graduates from Chilton, and it isn’t good. As I distanced myself from Rory, I recently made the realization that I don’t want to be a Rory — I want to be a Lorelai.

Lorelai has the classic made it from the bottom story. She worked for everything she has and raised her daughter how she wished she’d been raised. She’s open-minded, creative, and resourceful — everything I want to be. She might make some interpersonal mistakes (like sleeping with Christopher every time ever), but her actions are more grounded in reason.

I just watched the last episode of season seven last night – Bon Voyage, Rory! While I noted that the most interesting “character” on the show is Stars Hollow, the characters are all so hospitable and kind because they’re giving back to Lorelai. The townies don’t love Rory because she’s cool or funny, they love her because she’s Lorelai’s daughter.

Lorelai is great because she make everyone around her feel comfortable and wanted. I can’t imagine many better qualities to have. Making others feel comfortable around you is useful in literally every situation.

While I strive to be a Lorelai, Greg keeps telling me I’m an Emily. We both went to Smith, after all. Truly, I’d be happy to be compared to any Gilmore girl. The show and the town of Stars Hollow make me so happy and comforted.

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